Date Night

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ” ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Do we still go out on dates with our husbands? 

When the day is full from work, and the nights are still young with homework and dishes and last-minute cleaning, do we still have energy to romance our specific others?

Most of the time, No. But countless articles and studies have always encouraged us to find time, and energy, to spiff up our marriage. Sometimes it takes just little things to turn things around. Date Nights should not stop just because we’re already married. Maybe the only thing that could change now is what dating is like for married couples. 

My husband and I are both working, and it certainly takes a lot of effort to create a special time for both of us. But we have learned to enjoy the little things: 

  • Popcorn while watching our favorite series at home
  • Cooking our favorite meals together
  • Grocery shopping, and finding new items in the market
  • Creating our special MP3 playlist, because listening to these makes us remember the other even when we’re apart for the day
  • Driving around and catching up while traffic
  • Enjoying a bottle of wine, or hot chocolate, at the end of the day

What counts is our willingness to be with our spouse, without thinking of work or the children. Just you and him, just like the old times. 


Time to Make a Choice

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ” ~ Earl Nightingale

How do you juggle motherhood, career, marriage, friendships and ME time in a 24-hour workframe? Sometimes it seems so impossible. Some balls you are juggling are bound to fall off while you struggle to hold on to a couple or two.

When I was single, there were less responsibilities. I could always choose the fun route or the path of self-discovery. Of course travel and pampering were top of mind. I met my friends often and we’d go on soul-searching road trips or catch up on our blossoming love lives over drinks and all-nighters.

Everything changed after marriage. Much more when the bundle of joy arrived. Priorities did shift 360 (and more!) degrees. My shopping sprees were for baby stuff, and my after-work activity included storytelling and cooking at home. Sometimes, the choices are more difficult: birthday celebration with friends or family QT? Grocery shopping or Movie date? Office videoke or Nursing session? Arrive to work early but miss morning breakfast with family, or spend overtime in the office and miss saying goodnight to the LO?

Although I value all relationships in my life, the ultimate question will be: with whom do I choose to spend my limited time with? 

Sometimes, I would like to think that I can balance everything. Sure, each choice would have a consequence, but I can compromise on the option I didn’t choose. Family comes first, but I would also give time for my friends and myself too. I can still catch up with friends, but less late night gimiks and maybe opt for weekend play dates instead with their kids too. Movie dates can be spent at home, watching Netflix while the kid is sleeping. Grocery shopping and cooking together can be our weekly, domesticated family bonding too. I would be in work mode the whole day (minus the office gossip, lunch outs and social media procrastination) so I can be more productive and go home earlier to have more time with my daughter.

Whatever we choose, and how we choose to do things, would be entirely up to us. We can ultimately “rotate” our time to also give importance to other facets of our lives–health, passions, colleagues, leisure and finances. What matters is that we recognize the value of our time and prioritize the activities and the relationships which matter most to us.